To the Volunteers of LGBT Youth Line,

I haven’t known you very long. It’s really just been over a month. But in that time, I have witnessed some of the amazing things that you do. In case you’re ever down or you forget, here’s a list of some of the things you do that I really appreciate:

- You listen. Sometimes when no one else does.
- You make space for people to share and be themselves. On the lines and in the service room.
- You challenge. Yourselves, chatters, each other. You challenge norms and stereotypes and ideas.
- You laugh. And through your laughter you heal.
- You ask questions. Important ones that people need to be asked.
- You talk. About how you feel, what you think, and what you need.
- You build. Relationships with each other, ideas, solutions.
- You support each other. You check in, debrief, BLS.
- You share. Knowledge, skills, stories.
- You eat lots of food. Food is the best.

The importance of these acts should not be underestimated. They are part of building and taking care of community and ourselves. I really appreciate you all doing this every week, it’s hard work to be self-reflexive, engaging and supporting others, making space for ourselves and our peers to be and live as we desire. It’s a challenge that you all take on and one that I feel so lucky to be able to support you in. I’ve already learned so much from all of you in my short time here and am really excited about continuing to build up our communities in ways that are accessible to all in the future.

Here’s to you and all that you do !

Love,
Kavita

For the next few days, we’ll be posting some notes of appreciation from LGBT Youth Line staff to our Service Volunteers ! The first one is from one of our Shift Supervisors, JP.

–

Dear lovely volunteers,

On this Volunteer Appreciation Week, I express my love and thanks to you for all the work you do in the most glorious way I know how: through the immortal words of the fabulously over-the-top songstress Celine Dion.

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I’ll be forever thankful baby
You’re the one who held me up, never let me fall
You’re the one who saw me through — through it all

[Here, have a listen to the Glee version]

Please know that while I am around only sporadically, I look forward to every shift I do have. I love catching up with you and I love hearing your stories. Most of all, I love bearing witness to the fantastic work that you do – you provide a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, a pat on the back, a big hug, a comforting word, a resource, an “I am here”. You are consummate students, willing to both learn and unlearn. Some of the most inspiring moments I will forever treasure are those challenging moments that force us to question our most cherished beliefs and subsequently to grow as people. I thank you for your willingness to go through these growing pains with me, with your peers and with the Youth Line. The Province of Ontario and its LGBTQ youth are better off for it.

We find ourselves at a critical moment, when we are increasingly read as legible citizens by the state and the market. Yes, many – but, by no means, all – of us can increasingly get married and see versions of ourselves in primetime TV. Meanwhile, queers of colour, trans youth, and homeless and underhoused youth continue to be most vulnerable to structural violence. Our service’s reach throughout the province also remains uneven, though we are doing a lot to fix this. Globally, we are seeing a resurgence of homophobic violence, rooted in histories of colonialism and fueled in many ways by Western Christian evangelicalism. And, in geopolitical and development practice, “our” rights are increasingly used to deny the freedoms of others. Foreign aid is now increasingly tied to gay friendliness, punishing people on the ground for persistent and long term transnational and imperial circuits of religious and state homophobia. Gay rights are also used heavily in the service of settler colonialism, justifying theft of land, forced displacement and cultural genocide such that the rainbow flag and the nation-state flag can now fly together.

It is clear to me that there is still much work to be done. Knowing full well your capacity to learn and to lead, my thanks to you also comes with a challenge: to think about what a more just future looks like beyond the ‘new normal’, and to work towards that vision.

Here’s to you and to that more just future.

Much love,
JP

Totally outRIGHT is a sexual health leadership program for gay and bi guys from the ages of 18 and 29. This includes HIV-positive and HIV-negative guys, trans guys, and guys from any and all ethnic backgrounds.

The Totally outRIGHT program is designed to bring young gay and bi guys together with each other and with community leaders in gay and bi men’s sexual health. Over four consecutive Saturdays, these community leaders facilitate workshops and interactive activities to help program participants develop knowledge and skills related to sexual health leadership.

Topics covered over the four Saturdays of the program include:
• safer sex and harm reduction;
• equity and anti-oppression;
• community activism;
• body image and mental health; and
• public speaking.

At the end of the program, participants will receive a graduation T-shirt and certificate. They will also be eligible to become Totally outRIGHT Community Advisory Committee members and will receive notice for the part-time paid Graduate Peer Worker and Support Worker positions.

The next Totally outRIGHT series will take place during the first four Saturdays of May 2013 (May 4, 11, 18, and 25).

Registration Deadline: Thursday, April 18, 2013.

For more information about Totally outRIGHT and to register for the program, visit: www.actoronto.org/to

Questions or concerns? Contact:

Rui Pires, Gay Men’s Community Education Coordinator
rpires@actoronto.org
416-340-8484, ext. 246

Dear Youth,

Totally outRIGHT is for youth ages 18 – 29.

It is a sexual health leadership program for HIV-negative and HIV-positive guys, trans guys and guys from different ethnic backgrounds who like guys. The purpose of the program is to prepare guys to be leaders in their communities by providing them with info about love, life, sexuality and sexual health.

The program runs all day Saturdays: November 10, 17, 24 and December 1.  

The registration deadline is November 4

Checkout: www.actoronto.org/to

For more information:

Rui Pires, ACT’s Gay Men’s Community Education Coordinator

at rpires@actoronto.org

416-340-8484 Ext 264

- From Maverick S.M. Smith, Graduate Peer Worker, Totally outRIGHT Youth Sexual Health Leadership Program, AIDS Committee of Toronto (ACT)

My name is Kris Hohn and I am a Graduate student at the University of Texas at Arlington. I have been studying LGBTQ issues and policies for many years now and am currently working on my thesis. I created this survey to inquire about the coming out process and spiritual intelligence, how able one is to think about spirituality. After I gather the survey data I will analyze it and write a report. I hope to be able to publish the report so other professionals around the world are able to learn from what we have found. There is no compensation offered to participants. This information and more is found on the first page of the survey. You are welcome to go to the first page, read the information, and decide whether or not to take the survey. You can also exit the survey at any time without consequence.

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me directly at: HohnResearch@gmail.com. Thank you for your participation and support!

Click on the link below to go to the survey:
https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/LGBTQ_Youth_Study

*Please take a moment to review the privacy statements for this website at http://www.youthline.ca/privacy_and_terms_of_use.php

Featuring “What I LOVE about being QUEER”, a short film by Vivek Shraya (recently screened at the Vancouver Film Fest), and a panel of 6 speakers addressing youth in the Queer and Trans community.

https://www.facebook.com/events/224124657714227/

LGBT YOUTH LINE APPOINTS J WALLACE NEW EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR

TORONTO, September 13, 2012 — The Lesbian Gay Bi Trans Youth Line is pleased to announce the appointment of j wallace as Executive Director.

“j’s work with and on behalf of youth in Ontario spans more than 15 years. He’s got a proven track record of empowering LGBT youth in innovative and inclusive ways. It’s a perfect fit for Youth Line,” said Becky Idems, Co-chair of the Board of Directors.

wallace comes to Youth Line from the Halton District School Board, where, as LGBT Coordinator for the Equity and Inclusion Team, he developed and implemented a policy, training, and youth-empowerment framework that now reaches almost 50 000 students across the region’s 98 schools. Previously, wallace worked at Trails Youth Initiative, CultureLink’s NewcomerYouth Centre, and the Halton Organization for Pride and Education.

“I was a volunteer at Youth Line almost 20 years ago,” said wallace. “Having the chance to lead this organization into its third decade is both an honour and a challenge — there’s still so much work to do to overcome the stigma, discrimination, homophobia and transphobia faced by LGBT youth every day everywhere in our province.”

“We couldn’t be happier to welcome j back to the Youth Line fold,” said Board Co-chair Jeff Cooke. “His journey from peer-support volunteer to executive director is an inspiration to our board and staff, and especially to our current team of youth volunteers.

wallace is a graduate of York University and is currently a master’s candidate in the University of Toronto’s Faculty of Education. He lives in Toronto with his husband, writer S. Bear Bergman, and their two-year-old son, Stanley.

wallace succeeds Jennifer Fodden, who served five years at the head of Youth Line.

About Youth Line
Lesbian Gay Bi Trans Youth Line is a peer-support service for lesbian, gay, bi, transgender, transsexual, two-spirit, queer, and questioning young people, aged 26 and under. Founded in 1994, Youth Line serves approximately 6000 youth across Ontario each year through toll-free telephone and online peer-support services.

– 30 –

Note to editors: “j wallace” is written entirely lowercase and without a period after “j”.
For more information, please contact:

Bernice Chau
Outreach Coordinator
E-mail: outreach@youthline.ca
Telephone: +1 416 962-2232 ext. 229
Toll-free: 1-888-687-9688

That day.. That day you seen your worst nightmare, that day you went into my room and saw real darkness, the day you went Through

my bag and saw the silicone breasts. Difficult to comprehend when you find out, your kid, the 1 known as “josh” no longer exists you take it as, 

Tuesday August 14 – SHOUT Youth Unconference @ 519 Community Centre
519 Church Street Toronto, Ontario (Church and Wellesley gay village neighborhood).

“ShOUT is an Queer Urban Space Unconference” A Participant-Facilitated Discussion, Where everyone is a facilitator.

Queer in the City series – Tonight’s topic

A new look – Young, Queer and Homeless Out on the Streets in Toronto

There may be 1,500 to 2,000 youth living on the streets of Toronto. Some want their story to be heard, but are extremely shy about appearing as guests on public forums, especially during the summer months.

We have  sent invitations out to: Sketch, Shout Clinic, Parkdale community Health Clinic, and Eva’s  Initiatives for queer youth panelists.  Write Michel torontodigitalq@yahoo.ca or call 416-879-7954 if you would like to be one the panel as a street worker or queer youth and /or young adult 18-28.. We’re working hard to hold this important conference.

he Details 519 Community Centre, 519 Church Street, Toronto Ontario. This event is Free. Running 6 PM to 8 PM Room 304 (Street Map)

——

More details on this event can be found here-  http://artsfestival.queerwest.org/performances/august-14-shout-youth-unconference/

The Toronto Queer Arts Festival runs from Friday August 10 to Saturday August 18, 2012 – About us This year will attempt to bring you a film festival, historical tour, spoken word events, a community fair, a craft show, a Youth Unconference, art gallery tours by bicycle, hospitality party and alterna-queer music concert and more.

Tomorrow at 7:00 pm, members of the Youth Line staff, board and volunteer community will be mourning Kyle Scanlon at his community memorial. If you would like to attend, see the details here.

Other members of the Youth Line team will be honouring Kyle’s memory tomorrow night by answering calls and online chats from LGBT youth across Ontario who need someone to talk to. Thanks to our dedicated volunteers and relief staff, the Youth Line will be open tomorrow night as usual. If you need to talk, you can call us during our regular hours, 4:00-9:30pm Sunday-Friday. Although we’re not a crisis line, we’re here to offer support, information and referrals. If you are in crisis and need help, please call your local distress centre or 911.

His body aches from a distance
As it knows not the man inside
His armor cracked by flowing tears trapped inside
Child’s fear, warrior cries
Shouting out without a whisper deep inside
Alone we will die
Broken hopes and taken dreams
Packed away from sight
Wounds fester deep inside
Alone we will fall
Weaken hearts and hopeless nights
Tearing down what I love most
Do you hear my warrior cries, as alone I must not die
For today was the battle of life
For tomorrow know one knows I am the fallen and forgot
Wearing scars that make me mine
Waged within and without
Waiting, hoping crying out
For scars to flow into wings
To give me might
To fight this great fight
Do you hear my warrior cries, as alone I must not die
Broken hope, blinding me
I cannot see those reaching out to me
Unknown
Pushed away For alone we all will fall
Deep and darkened, tried and forgotten
Do you hear my warrior cries, as alone I must not die
You’ve lost something, they all will say
Fear break and seas do part
Rocks of tears fall over me
Breaking shields and giving sight
Hands held out so I can fly
Loving pain and scaring me
Tattered wings grow over me
Do you hear my warrior cries, as alone I must not die
Community and love breaking me free
Lost hope and courage finding me
Together we fight, together we grow
My wings will grow as hope will flow
Together we fly, as flight makes us one
My scars make me mine
And guide others home
For today was the battle of life
And you were not alone

By Shane Owens in dedication to Kyle and all those we have lost

hope to see you there

BarryV

Totally outRIGHT is a for young gay and bi guys who want to
be community leaders, including:
• guys from diverse communities
• transguys
• guys living with HIV

Happening: June 2, 9, 16 and 23
Please register by May 14, 2012
Contact Rui Pires at 416-340-8484 ext. 264
or rpires@actoronto.org.
Check out actoronto.org/to for more info.

Call out to South Asian Youth (13 – 19)* to participate in free youth by youth arts program to explore arts as a form of self-expression. The program will run on Tuesdays and Thursdays from May 15-31, 2012 from 4:30 pm – 8:00 pm at Parkdale Community Health Centre (1229 Queen Street West, Toronto ON M6K 1L2). The location is fully wheelchair accessible, including washrooms and has single stall washrooms.

Q? Y Art? is a 6 session multi-disciplinary arts program for South Asian youth (13-19) who identify as members of the LGBTTIQQ2S/WSW/MSM communities; youth will engage in arts practices, create portfolios and launch their work.

*Note: There is a second group that will run mid-summer for youth 20-29; please visit this section on our website for details and application.

Come to:

• Hang out and learn from youth artists
• Experiment with multiple art forms
• Use art for self-expression
• Connect and build community with peers
• Have your work published and launched

Other information:

• Food and TTC Tokens will be provided
• High school students can complete part of their community service hours requirement through this program

This arts and leadership program will include creative writing and performance opportunities, plus an opportunity to talk about histories as well as current events, as they can relate to South Asian LGBTTIQQ2S/WSW/MSM youth. The program works to challenge queer and trans phobia, as well as racism – we’re trying to create a space for youth to talk about how they experience these, whether external or internalized. There is definitely room for you to tailor the program to what you want!

Please visit our website: www.qyartproject.com for application forms and for program details including our values, safety, confidentiality and other resources.

Please visit our website: www.qyartproject.com for program details including our values, safety, confidentiality and other resources. Application forms for Group 1 (Youth 13-19) can be found here and for Group 2 (Youth 20-29) can be found here.

Please submit your application by Friday, May 11th to qyartproject@gmail.com, if you are between 13 – 19.

We will get in touch with people as we receive applications! Send in yours as soon as possible!

If you are interested in being involved in this program, but have needs and requirements not reflected please contact us at qyartproject@gmail.com for info and feedback.

You can also reach us at:

Phone: (416) 599-2727 ext. 230

Find us on Facebook: Q? Y Art? Project

Twitter: @QYArtProject

This project is funded by ArtReach Toronto and the Community One Foundation.

I run my fingers along the curve of my chest. When I was in grade seven my younger brother told me I had “man-boobs.” I remember doing push-ups every night after that.

I flex my right bicep and brush my fingers along the small mound of muscle. I had never won any arm wrestling matches in high school and I always wore long sleeve shirts to hide my thin arms.

I slap my stomach. During summer camp, a fellow camp councillor told me I was “skinny-fat.” I wasn’t quite too sure of what she meant but I was careful to leave the swimming pool last so that no one could see me topless.

I glance back at the Men’s Health magazine in the garbage and raise my arms above my head to copy the male model’s pose. I curl up my lip and flex real hard so I can look sexy- maybe. Nope. Still skinny. Still me.

The words ectomorph, mesomorph, and endomorph leap around in my head. I’m an ectomorph -the skinny body type. Endomorphs bodies have higher amounts of body fat. The guy on the front of Men’s Health magazine is a mesomorph -the tall Spartan warrior body type. A body made for cutting down foes, leaping over moats and using brute strength to crush your enemies.

My body’s genetic make-up comes from my dad’s side. It’s a gene pool that countless farmers have contributed to – not warriors. A body made for plowing the fields and carrying rice bags. Even now, I feel that my body is aligned with my beliefs. I’m a pacifist and not much of a fighter so it makes sense that my body has long legs and a light frame; it’s a body made for running away – not fighting.

That’s not to say I’m not able to achieve the muscular look. Just because my body is natural inclined is to be skinny it isn’t something that is set in stone. If I really wanted to, I’d shove those chemical concoctions down my throat, eat enough food for three people, and go to the gym every day. It would take a lot of work but it’s not impossible.

I take another look at my right arm; I remember helping my friend Esther move her things into her new apartment; my arms were so sore from all the lifting I thought they would fall off.

I grip my left bicep and grin. I remember hugging Ian close to me on the dance floor. He said he liked my arms as he pulled me in closer to him.

I stroke my chest and I remember how I helped Mario push his car down the road on a Friday evening when his car engine died.

I slap my stomach again and I remember countless Friday nights with family and friends at all-you-can-eat sushi restaurants.

My body and I have been through a lot. It may not be a Men’s Health or the Spartan warrior body but it has saved my ass more times than I can count. I appreciate all my body has done for me and all the things it has yet to do. I don’t value my body based on its image. I value it for what it enables me to do: walking, running, and lifting (let’s not forget about sex). Ectomorph, endomorph, and mesomorph mean nothing to me. I have a body made for loving and a body made to be loved. I grin and raise my arms above my head and flex. Yup. Still me. Still pretty fucking sexy.

Community Youth Awards

Every year, LGBTTIQA2S youth across the province are doing remarkable things. But where are the opportunities to come together and celebrate these amazing people and achievements?

Now. This is your chance!

Nominate yourself, someone you know or a group you love for one of these eight awards, and let’s together do exactly that.

• Outstanding Contribution to Queer Youth Visibility
• Outstanding Contribution to Trans Youth Visibility
• Outstanding Contribution in an Academic Environment
• Outstanding Contribution to Arts & Culture
• Outstanding Contribution to Social & Health Services
• Outstanding Contribution to Social Justice
• Outstanding Contribution to Community Empowerment
• Outstanding Personal Achievement

The 14th Annual Community Youth Awards will be held in the evening of Sunday, June 24, 2012 at Glenn Gould Studio at the CBC Building in Toronto. Travel and accommodations for award winners and their nominators are provided.

The nomination deadline has been extended to May 7, 2012. To submit a nomination, click here.

The Spirit of Will Munro Award

Will Munro was Punk-rocker, DJ, queer activist, artist, volunteer, civic glue to Toronto queer culture. In his memory, each year, The Spirit of Will Munro Award grants $10,000 to an Ontario LGBTTIQA2S youth or an Ontario LGBTTIQA2S youth-led organization to establish an event, project, organization or business at the local level that uses the arts* and provides youth-friendly, sustainable community growth for LGBTTIQA2S people. This award is made possible with the generous support of Kristyn Wong-Tam.

This year’s application deadline is April 30, 2012. For details on the award and the award application, click here.

Board of Directors

Many non-profit organizations have a Board of Directors to help guide the direction and realize the mission of the organization. At the Youth Line, we have a Board of Directors with a majority of youth members working with non-youth members to accomplish this important task. Individuals new to being a member of a Board and individuals well seasoned in being a member of Boards are all encouraged to volunteer on our Board of Directors. Training and learning opportunities are provided.

We have four openings on our Board that we are currently looking to fill, including the position of Treasurer. If you have interest or experience in these particular areas, this opportunity is for you:

• Program/Service
• Finance/Business
• Anti-Oppression
• Community Outreach
• Marketing/Communications
• Fundraising/Events

Applications are due to board_recruit@youthline.ca by Friday, May 4, 2012. For details on the application, click here.

Peer Support Volunteering

Peer Support Volunteers are the ones who help answer the calls, emails and chats throughout the year. They are 26 years old or younger and able to get to and from Toronto to volunteer. A supervisor is present for all volunteer shifts to provide support and new Peer Support Volunteers are provided 40 hours of training.

Quite frankly, being a Peer Support Volunteer is oodles of fun. It’s a great opportunity to gain new skills, meet more friends and play a positive role in your community. Snacks and TTC tokens are provided during training and volunteering. To find out more about being a Peer Support Volunteer, click here. To apply to be a Peer Support Volunteer, click here. Application deadline for this training session is May 11, 2012.

Pride and Remembrance Run

This year, Youth Line is one of the beneficiaries of the Pride and Remembrance Run happening in Toronto on Saturday, June 30, 2012. Help us support this great event by volunteering to marshall the course, staff the water station, set-up the starting and finish line, prepare the after party, check bags, promote the race or perform general duties. If you’ll be in Toronto during the Pride festival, it will be a few hours of your morning. If you are interested, learn about the volunteer duties by clicking here and email Mohsin at donate@youthline.ca by June 13, 2012.

Missed any of these deadlines for this year? Most of these opportunities are for events that happen once or twice a year. Like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter to stay up to date on future Youth Line opportunities.

Every time I get a sense of acceptance, love and tolerance at being gay, news of gay suicides flood me with feelings of doubt and despair. I doubt the gay community and question whether my sense of acceptance stems only from the gay community and not from wide stream society; that I feel safe and accepted only within a queer positive space. I despair that change is coming but at too slow a pace and that young LGBTQ lives are in constant danger of blinking out. How do youth who are disconnected from the comfort and freedom of the gay community deal with such oppression and abuse?

Is it really fair to tell young LGBTQ youth that it “gets better?” Is it really fair to tell LGBTQ youth to stay strong? That they have to learn to cope with emotional and physical pain while other children have the luxury of not worrying about being beat up because of their sexuality? Why do they have to wait and be confined in the dark corners of shame and fear while other children have the freedom to laugh, play, and express themselves?

I know the answer is never simple or easy but it seems that all we have to offer LGBTQ youth is “hope.” Hope that one day they can be free to be who they are; hope that one day they can walk through the halls without the words “faggot” and “dyke” hurled at them. Hope that one day life will become more bearable. Don’t get me wrong, I am a firm believer of hope but hope is only an abstract thought and one can’t feed the hungry with abstract bread. Hope doesn’t work for everyone. It didn’t work for Kenneth James, Tyler Clementi, Eric James Borges and countless other LGBTQ teens.

It gets better -but does it really? No doubt there are more freedoms and options once you leave school but how does a child, after enduring years of oppression and fear, change their view on life? The abuse may no longer be taking place but the damage has been done. Some LGBTQ youth have physical and emotional scars that may never fully heal regardless of leaving the abuse behind.

While the “It Gets Better” campaign was a great starting point – it’s time to change that perspective. We need to stop telling LGBTQ youth that “it gets better” –it is time for it to get better. It is time to stop making a promise for the future and time to start making a statement for the present. We need to tell LGBTQ youth that they are not alone – that there are people out there who care and at the same time show our support.

Gay youth must be empowered to make things better right now, and the gay community must strive towards that goal. Gay youth need to stop seeing themselves as victims and instead as active agents of change. We need to do all we can to protect the future generation and to make the world a better place for them. Gay children and youth need our help and its time we stop telling them to wait. We must reach out to them and help them in every way we can. I know that the solution is never simple or easy but we need to start offering our youth something more than just hope.

The Backstory

After a year of storytelling workshops and 500+ responses to the question “What does homophobia and transphobia look like, sound like and feel like?”, we were feeling ready to transform this beautiful collection of stories into a Public Service Announcement video. The video would be one part in a package of online resources to help us all challenge the role homophobia and transphobia plays in our lives and in our communities. This Switch It Up package will also include anti-homophobia and anti-transphobia posters, a campus mobilization guide co-authored with the Canadian Federation of Students-Ontario, and more. All of it free for downloading, sharing and reprinting on our website. The whole kit and kaboodle would be ready for launch in time for International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia on May 17th.

We began working with the production studio Meld Media to help take the video from an idea to a reality. They jumped on board to the project eager to help and wholly committed to honouring our stories. Many conversations and countless hours of work later, we came up with a video that brought to life the power of the stories we heard. Those of us involved in the making of the video felt instantly connected to it. We could feel in our bones the truth in these stories. We were excited to show it to the world.

So we started pouring ourselves into working on the rest of the Switch It Up toolkit. If just one part of the stories we heard led to such moving 90 seconds, imagine what else these stories could do. One day to our surprise, while designing posters about homophobia and transphobia, we were tagged in an excited tweet with a link to our PSA video. It was then retweeted by WITNESS.ORG to almost 330,000 Twitter users. Soon thereafter, we were tagged in an excited Facebook status congratulating us on a beautiful video.

We were all so anxious to reveal the video that out of a miscommunication, the PSA video was posted by our production team to YouTube and Vimeo. In its first two weeks, it was viewed by almost 4,000 people. The feedback has been waves of compliments and emotions. Before we were prepared to be, we were overwhelmed by the positive reception we hoped for the video. We’ve decided to leave the videos up because it turns out, the magic of this video cannot be contained.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to watch it, share their story with us, and helped make this the beautiful and honest video that it is. Special thanks to Meld Media, the community partners and all the youth participants.

Be sure to come back to the Youth Line website on May 16th, the eve of International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia, for the rest of the Switch It Up package and more awesomeness!

Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call me Maybe" has her doing quadruple takes on this boy

I dread the summer. The unbearable heat, humid air, and bloodthirsty mosquitoes -but none of these compare to my fear of…summer boys. The boys who walk around in shirts that show too much of their arms, the boys who walk around in tank-tops, and the boys who go topless…those are the boys that give me trouble. As a young twenty-something gay man, I can’t help but gawk at such glaring displays.

Take for example, my weekend trip to the grocery store. Here I was walking through the street – gladly looking forward to picking up some milk- when all of a sudden man wearing a tank-top walked by me. The tank-top revealed a good portion of his arms which were large and pleasing to my eye (but really, I mean to my groin). I felt my eyes strain themselves to zoom in on his arms as my head turned to view his passing figure. Get a load of THAT guy my brain screamed.

Suddenly, I felt extremely conscious of my double-take and I felt the heat rush to my face. I quickly looked around to see if anyone else had noticed my wandering eyes. Luckily, no one else had taken notice and I went along my way.

A couple days later, the same thing happened but this time it was a shirtless jogger that trapped my eyes. After noticing his glistening sweat and heaving muscles, I was left momentarily blind and speechless as my eyes gave out and my brain imploded. Again, I felt a rush of shame flood my face as my eyes fell to the floor.

After some personal reflection, I questioned the after effects of my double takes. I have often seen heterosexual men and women openly do the infamous “double take” on passing strangers – I mean openly staring in public is impolite – but why did I feel ashamed for looking?

As a gay man, I am proud of my attraction to men and of my sexuality – so why did I feel this way?

I often forget that I was not born into a gay culture -I was born into a heterosexual one. There is always that innate voice of “heteronormality” in the back of my mind. One that was born out of countless messages condemning my sexuality, telling me it’s unnatural to be gay. That it is something to be ashamed of and hidden. Like many others, I was not born a proud gay man; I became one by overcoming oppression and learning to love myself.

Even though I am proud of my sexuality, there are times when I realize how affected I am by heteronormal society. I realized I felt ashamed of doing “double takes” because I thought it only acceptable for heterosexuals to openly “check each other out.” Why? I don’t know why – but I’m guessing a life time of movies, books, T.V shows, and other things found in mainstream media might be the reason for that self-shame. I often find the lack of anything “gay” in media frustrating. It’s as if my own sexuality isn’t valid and that it should be “hidden.” Even if it is represented it’s often touched upon lightly and without too much detail. Oh sure, let’s watch 2 guys kiss and then have sex “off-screen.”

Sometimes, even the little things count. Like seeing a commercial where a gay man checks out another man (I applaud Carly Rae Jepsen’s video for showing some gay love)-or a commercial that depicts a woman’s first date with another woman. Small things like these can work wonders for inscribing acceptance and tolerance within society. Unfortunately – the lack of such media makes me wonder if society is truly accepting of homosexuality – not just the notion but the actions that come along with it.

I not only want my existence to be validated but my feelings, my wants, and my urges as well.

I know that next time; I will take pride in my double takes. I will take pride in the actions I do that validate my homosexuality.

So if you see me ogling you from afar, don’t worry – I’m only admiring your shirt…or your lack of one.

You
need to take 10 minutes and read this article. It’s a letter from a Conservative Christian mother to blogger
Dan Pearce, who wrote a piece aptly titled, ‘I’m Christian, unless you’re gay’
a few months back.

In the original blog, Pearce talks poignantly about a phone
conversation he had with his friend Jacob, a homosexual. Jacob despairs over how his parents deny his existence and how friends suddenly disappear when he comes out to them. (Side note: those people probably aren’t good friends to begin with, let’s be honest here.) 

Pearce reflects on how this judgement happens under the banner of
religion and personal belief. He doesn’t condemn one sect or another but
instead critiques the ability of people to self righteously hate on anyone who
doesn’t believe or act the same way as them: be it gays, struggling addicts,
the homeless, different religions, lifestyles, you
name it.  To quote Pearce
satirizing this system of judgment: ‘“God hates people that aren’t just like
me.”’ (You can check out that article if you’re interested in a little extra-curricular reading.) He talks a lot about
love. He points out that in so many major belief systems, loving your fellow
man is a huge cornerstone. It’s also one that people often
conveniently ignore.

Well the second part, this mother’s response is what I
really wanted to focus on. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I started
reading it. This woman writes about how spitting mad she was that a teacher
gave her son “I’m Christian, unless you’re gay” as a reading assignment. She was offended by it like the good
Christian woman that she was. Then, her son emailed her his response to the
assignment. In it, he came out, remarking upon why he didn’t think he
deserved love any less because of his sexuality and his identity.
She re-read the article, this time through the eyes of her stuck-in-the-middle-of-Conservative-suburbia gay son. A switch inside of her flipped.

This is a story about a story about a story.

Really, this is a story of how remarkable bravery can
completely change the perceptions of people, even the ones who you may think
will never fully understand. This
kid knew Jacob’s story of being left behind by those he cared about for being
gay, but he still wrote what was in his heart. He still took the chance to play
the truth card with his mother, knowing she might not accept it from him. It
worked out for him and now there’s one more ally in the world.

This is a story
that inspires nothing inside me but a swell of hope for the future. It’s all
about how love is more powerful, more important than any religious belief, any
prejudice, any formerly held perception.

We all need that kind of brave, like
the son. We all need the ability to open our hearts up, just like the mother.
And we all need to be able to tell it like it is, like Dan Pearce.

Prior to meeting my boyfriend I had gotten a tattoo. The tattoo parlor came highly recommended by some friends, who have all gotten tattoos done there. While the place looked cleaned, and the artists claimed all needles were sterile, you can never be sure, so I decided to get tested for HIV/AIDS.

My friend referred me to a place called the sexual health Hassle Free Clinic, located on the corner at 66 Gerald Street in Toronto.

The hassle free health clinic offers free HIV/AIDS. As well you can request to be tested for sexual transmitted diseases (STI) which includes being tested for Gonorrhea, Chlamydia and Hepatitis A&B.

For a free STI test you can walk in. However for an HIV/AIDs test you need to book an appointment by calling (416) 922-0566.

The clinic is judge free and is available to all everyone.

The clinic hours are below:

Monday: 4 p.m. – 8 p.m.

Tuesday: 10 a.m. – 3 p.m.

Wednesday: 4 p.m. – 8 p.m.

Thursday: 10 a.m. – 3 p.m.

Friday: 4 p.m. – 7 p.m.

Saturday: 10 a.m. – 2 p.m.

While some people think only people in Africa contract HIV/AIDS, as of 2009 65,000 people in Canada are living with HIV/AIDS.

While gay and bi men make up about 44% of the total number. Heterosexual males and females make up about 25% of the total number of people who have HIV/ AIDS, while those who use drugs by needles make up about 21% of that number.

After receiving my results, I am now at ease knowing where I stand. My advice to anyone out there who may be wondering what to do is get tested. No matter what your results are, its always better to know rather then not know.

Way back in February, my group (for school) was assigned an assignment to design and execute a fundraiser for a youth-based organization. “Youth Line, YOUTH LINE!” was my first response. I’ve been so impressed with the work I’ve seen at Youth Line that I knew my group members would agree that it was an amazing choice. So I called, and asked if it would be alright if we did a fundraiser and was told that not only was it alright but that it coincided with the SHOW YOUR LOVE campaign–FANTASTIC!

Yummy!

On we went with our planning. Rather than do a regular bake sale we wanted to    make it a little more interactive, so we made some sugar cookies (which I  heard were fabulous) and had icing and a bazillion different kinds of sprinkles  for people to decorate. We also had a raffle with some pretty awesome prizes.

People were a little reluctant to come up to the table–it was probably that the beams of excitement just might have been a little too much for some people to   handle, so we opted for decorating some cookies ourselves and stalking around the George Brown Campus. Guess who loves awesomely decorated, delicious cookies for only $1.00, raffle tickets, and buttons? STUDENTS DO! It was the saving grace for our fundraiser. Thank you students!

All in all, we had a great time and raised a bit of money while doing it! Thank you group members and thank you Youth Line for all your help!

Check out a few more pictures below!

The group minus me! Natasha, MJ, Jess, Fayzal